How to Stop Ruining Your Dirty Martini

Alice Lascelles shares why most Dirty Martinis taste terrible (and how to fix yours). 

Not because it’s a terrible drink, necessarily, but because it’s so often done very badly. I don’t know how many times I’ve watched well-meaning mixologists muddle gin and olives into a murky soup that’s both horrible to look at and unpleasant to consume. And there seems to be an arms race on right now to make the drink dirtier still, with the addition of abominations like blue cheese, onion soup, chicken broth, and MSG. It’s filthy; and not in a good way.

My theory is that people like the idea of a Dirty Martini more than the actual taste. Ordering one feels a bit racy; and finishing it feels like something of an achievement.

But it is possible to mix a good Dirty which plays by Martini rules; one that delivers that satisfying, savory olive hit without compromising on polish.  

The first rule of a good Dirty Martini is: it should always be crystal-clear. Regardless of how dirty you like it, it shouldn’t contain sediment. So, stop crushing olives into your vodka and gin immediately – you’re not making a drink, not a tapenade. There are other, much better, ways to introduce olive to your cocktail.

One is with a splash of Oli-still Distilled Olive eau-de-vie, a fantastic olive distillate from the family-owned Distillerie Manguin in Provence. I was introduced to this stuff by Colin Field, the celebrated former head bartender of the Paris Ritz’s Hemingway Bar, who uses it in his signature Clean Dirty Martini. Distilled from French wheat and Provençale olives, it marries a rounder green olive/apple fruitiness with vivid, slightly peppery notes of vine leaves and herbs. You don’t need much in a Martini (I’ve detailed my preferred recipe below.)

The Manguin distillery also makes excellent olive gin and vodka, which combines complex olive characters with a sumptuous, buttery texture. But I like the precision of the eau-de-vie for a Martini; it makes the recipe easier to fine-tune.  

See also: A Guide To Garnishing Your Martini

Olive is already quite an intense flavor, so for the main body of the drink, plain vodka is best – the grain-based Konik’s Tail, or the creamier Chopin potato vodka, both from Poland, would be my preference. If I was going gin, I’d stick with a London Dry like the more citrus-led Beefeater or drier Tanqueray. But Four Pillars Olive Leaf Gin from Australia – which is flavored with Aussie olive oil, olive leaves, macadamia nuts, and lemon myrtle – is also fun for a play.

That’s the olive component covered – then we also need an appetizing hint of salt. The simplest way to introduce this, of course, is via a little brine from the olive jar.

But stop right there! How long has that jar been open? Has it been lingering at the back of the fridge for weeks? Or, worse, had fingers rooting around inside? In that case, forget it.

If your brine is in good nick – or better still, freshly opened – then you may proceed. But before you do that, it’s also important to think about quantities. Because a brine-heavy drink won’t just be more saline, it will also be more dilute. If you’re heavy-handed with the brine, you risk detracting from that silky concentration that makes a Martini so luxurious. So go easy. I find 5-10ml (or 1-2tsp) is about right.

A final spritz of olive brine from an atomizer, over the drink, can also be nice – think of it in the same way as that pinch of salt you use to finish a dish.  

See also: Bollinger’s Cult Cuvées May Soon Disappear – Here’s Why

The garnish, of course, must be olives. I am a Nocellara die-hard. But a trio of pitted olives on a cocktail pick is also a classic look. Either way, the olives should be in brine, not oil, unless you want your drink with an unattractive slick on the top. Olives containing any kind of stuffing – peppers, cheese, or god forbid, anchovies – should be kept firmly on the side.

I also like my Dirty Martini brightened up with a lemon twist – but for some, I realize, even that may be a bit too squeaky clean.

Alice Lascelle’s perfect Dirty Martini

Ingredients

Method

Stir with ice and strain.